Something I Never Wanted to Hear
by Katherine Jane Nicholls
Summary: Hiro-san is upset when Nowaki leaves him for the 3rd time. When he finds out that he's returning to Japan, he feels happy. However, he hears something he never wanted to hear.


A/N: I do not own Junjou Romantica! Shungiku Nakamura-Sensei does!

Pairing: Egoist (Hiroki x Nowaki)

Something I Never Wanted to Hear

That bastard Kusama Nowaki... He left me alone again. The whole, "I love you, Hiro-san," was complete, total bullshit. Nowaki didn't love me. Not at all. He wouldn't leave me again for a third time if he did. I shoved my hand into my pocket and took out the only letter he sent me during his studies.

_Dear Hiro-san,_

_ I'm sorry to have to leave you again. I'm so sorry. I'm going to stay in New York again for a while as I continue my studies to become a doctor. Please don't be angry at me. Even though you told me that I don't have to catch up to you, I still want to. I feel like you have to force yourself to be nice to me, to love me. So, I want to prove to you that I am worthy to be loved by you, that I'm not a kid. I don't know when I'll be back, but when I do return, I hope you will finally see me as an equal. I miss you, Hiro-san. I love you. I love you so much. Take care of yourself._

_ Love,_

_ Kusama Nowaki_

"Dammit," I hissed under my breath.

He drove me crazy. I read the last four sentences over and over again as my heart began to race.

"BRING-RING!" The phone rang.

I picked it up and spoke.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Hiro-san? Is that you?"

My heart stopped. Only one person called me that.

"N-Nowaki...?" I stuttered.

Over the phone, I heard a sigh of relief.

"It sounds so good to hear your voice again, Hiro-san."

Anger began to fill within me.

"Don't give me that bullshit! You left me again! The first two times, yes, I managed to get over it, but a third time, I can't allow. Don't come back here!" I yelled furiously.

"Hiro-san... I'm coming home tonight."

"...What?"

"I can't live in New York when I only have you on my mind. So, I'm coming back," he said quietly.

"Nowa-"

"I'm arriving at Narita airport in a couple of days. And as soon as I see you, I'm going to make love to you," Nowaki whispered.

Hearing his lowered voice made me shudder. I felt like I was melting. My face was hot.

"D-Don't say things like that, you idiot," I spat.

"I love you, Hiro-san. Just wait for me a little longer," Nowaki said, and hung up.

As I put down the phone, I thought, _'Nowaki's coming back... He's really coming back...'_

In my heart, I knew, deep down, I really missed him, and I had loved him. It had gotten dark out, and I had to get my notes and books together for my literature class the next day. After I had gathered everything and gotten my mind off of Nowaki, I took a shower and slipped into my bed.

_'He's coming back...' _I thought again. _'Nowaki's really coming back...'_

I eventually fell asleep, with Nowaki's face playing in my mind.

~A Couple Days Later~

I found myself sitting at Narita airport, two hours earlier than Nowaki was supposed to be there. Fortunately, I brought a couple of books with me to keep myself occupied. My eyes darted from the words within my book to the self-changing numbers on the main clock. The minutes seemed like hours. I started to get fidgety. Finally, the clock read '21:23' (9:23 P.M) and I looked at the plane's flight schedule. The green blinking dot, which usually indicated when a flight arrived, did not show up next to the 'New York to Narita' flight.

I asked the woman sitting behind the counter, "Do you know when the New York to Narita flight will arrive?" My voice was anxious.

"I'm sorry, sir. It's on a two-hour delay due to heavy rain and high winds," she replied.

My shoulders dropped.

"Oh... alright," I whispered. "Thanks."

I glanced out of the big window that displayed planes taking off and in-coming. The sky was dark and gloomy. As I sat back down, I took another book and started to read it, but my mind was focused only on Nowaki.

_'He'll be fine. It's only a two-hour delay. Planes have delays all the time. There's nothing to worry about,' _I told myself.

The lids of my eyes felt heavy as I thought, and before I knew it, I drifted to sleep with the book in my hand and the thought of Nowaki lingering in my head.

"...-this be?!"

"This has to be some kind of joke!"

"NO!"

"My poor son!"

My eyes fluttered open to the sound of screaming adults and crying children. The air around me felt heavy. I quickly stood up, left my pile of books behind, and ran to a person nearby me.

"What's going on?!" I yelled frantically.

The woman, with tears in her eyes, replied with a sob, "One of the planes had an engine malfunction and exploded in mid-flight!"

She began to cry harder.

My heart dropped.

"W-Which plane...?" I asked, barely above a whisper.

"The one that was supposed to fly in from New York! There were no survivors!" The woman wailed.

My lip twitched. My eyes widened. I could no longer hear what was going on around me.

_'Nowaki... Nowaki... Nowaki!" _His name repeated over and over again in my mind.

I walked slowly out of the airport entrance, while everyone else ran around sobbing and screaming to their loved ones. I had no one to run to, no one to love anymore. In the pouring rain, I walked as slowly as I could. I didn't want to go home, where Nowaki and I had lived together for almost 7 years. My heart ached. It felt as though it was trying to rip a hole in my chest. Nowaki couldn't be...

He couldn't be dead.

He promised to come back to me.

He lied to me.

He promised to come back and love me.

My legs brought me to the flower shop where Nowaki worked.

"Nowaki... Nowaki..," I whispered, as though his name was a mantra.

Tears started to stream down my cheeks.

The cheeks he touched when he wanted to kiss me.

I imagined him setting up the flowers next to the window, and how his face would simply lighten up when he saw me, but then I realized that it'll never happen again.

There would be no one to greet me when I return home from the university anymore.

There would be no one to make me delicious food for dinner anymore.

There would be no one to whisper sweet nothings into my ear anymore.

"NOWAKI!" I screamed to the pouring grey sky.

There were so many things I didn't want to hear. There were unfortunate times when I had to hear them, even during the worst times.

But hearing that he was gone, was something I never wanted to hear.

~FIN~

A/N: I'm so sorry that I had to make a sad fanfic! This is the very first fanfic I've ever written, and I'm glad it was about Hiroki Kamijou and Nowaki Kusama! I love Junjou Romantica (especially Egoist!) I've also fallen in love with Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi (also written by Nakamura-Sensei). I might make a fic about the Nostalgia couple, because I'm a teeny bit obsessed with Takano *yaoi fan-girl drool* So, please let me know how I've done with this fic by leaving a review! I accept all! Bad ones will help me become better!

Mata Onegai Shimasho~!

-KJN


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